Day 17: Door

“Don’t let the —,” I start to holler over to the girls. But the sound of the door slamming cuts me off. The entire apartment shakes and I know our neighbors can feel it, too. 

“ — door slam.” I finish, deflated. 

Some doors are designed to close themselves if there’s anything less than like 20 pounds pushing it open, and our current apartment door is one of those. Perhaps it’s good in a season of mosquitos or extreme weather, but when you’re sensitive to loud noises for yourself or your neighbors, it’s startling and stress-provoking.

In the last several days, I’ve had the impression of doors slamming in so many loved ones’ faces. It’s startling, stressful and the effects send vibrations through the proverbial house. Granted, the sounds have been echoing, reverberating from afar as people have already been suffering for quite some time on the other side of the world.

Some are separated from elderly loved ones indefinitely, some are continuing to be displaced from their homes — some will never again re-enter their overseas home — some have lost opportunities to say goodbye, and almost all of our plans have changed in some way, shape or form.

Slam, slam, slam. 

Photo by Tim Mossholder on

Now we can all feel the shaking down in our bones.

Some of these doors will never open again. 

Some will open with time. 

Somewhere in the back of my mind I hear Julie Andrews’ voice saying something like, “When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window.” 

A window open somewhere, doesn’t take away the hot sting of a door slammed so rudely in your face. It’s going to take time for all the vibrations to stop and our startled, stressed or grieving hearts to calm. 

I don’t know what kind of door slamming you may be experiencing right now — maybe you’re feeling a bit jumpy from the sound of your neighbors’ slammed doors, maybe your door didn’t slam at all and you’re relieved to have some quiet time at home with your people, maybe the door landed with bone crushing speed on your grasping fingers: I hope you’ll be gentle with yourself. Gentle with your heart in whatever state it’s in – afraid, broken, relieved, weary or some mysterious cocktail of all of those and more. This will not last forever. Be kind to yourself and to your neighbor (perhaps at a distance *wink*). Breathe, light a candle, open an actual window, pray with a friend, call a loved one who’s far.

The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.

Numbers 6:24-26

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