Sharing a miscarriage publicly (online) is not for everyone — everyone grieves and processes differently. But having shared mine publicly, I’ve experienced the privilege of joining in the dance of sorrow and joy with friends and acquaintances who are also processing losses. (Sorrow because of the obvious wretchedness of what has happened, but joy in getting to encounter the Lord, who is so very near to the brokenhearted, in and through these sisters.)
I know right after I miscarried, I longed for a few friends who’d experienced a similar trauma – just to talk with and listen to and have a sense of understanding and being understood. And the fact that I don’t seem to be the only one who has that longing, but also the fact that sometimes our fellowship can just fall short of what we’re really longing for, has me thinking that I’d like to share a few of the things that encouraged me the most (other than the texts, messages, and emails from friends who sent their sorrow, encouragements and were just checking in…just hearing from friends, regardless of the “right” words, was the hugest).
So, in hopes that these some of things will encourage a grieving momma (OR equip someone who wants to encourage a grieving momma), below are some of the resources that I found most helpful. . .
This list is certainly not comprehensive. There are loads more good resources out there, some of which did encourage me, but I didn’t keep track of in the same way. If you are looking at this list and have something that particularly encouraged you, by all means please share it in the comments!
- Inheritance of Tears: Trusting the Lord of Life When Death Visits the Womb, but Jessalyn Hutto.
This book was balm for my broken heart in the days right after losing Canaan. Living thousands of miles from my family and most of my closest friends had me feeling extremely isolated, but this book was like having a dear friend come and cry with me and speak truth over me. I highly, highly, highly recommend this book to help anyone process the loss of a baby.
- A Path Through Suffering, by Elisabeth Elliot.
I actually was already reading this book in response to a dear friend’s loss when my own miscarriage occurred. It has some beautiful perspective on suffering, though not necessarily specific to suffering through miscarriage, like the previous book.
- Peacemaking Women: Biblical Hope for Resolving Conflict, by Tara Klena Barthel and Judy Dabler.
This one may seem a bit out of place on this list, but this book had one of the most profound chapters on suffering I’ve ever read in a section under “Conflicts with God” — it challenged and encouraged me as I processed my own suffering.
I got to be in a prayer group with Leia one summer in Colorado. I’ve continued to be blessed to follow her online, as she writes beautifully, honestly, and in a way that points to Jesus’ care and beauty. Listed above are two of the posts that were dedicated to her loss, but I also really enjoyed reading her subsequent posts about her life going on and wanting to nurture herself, her marriage, etc.
Leia was also kind enough enough to pass on some of the blogs that had helped her process and gave her the freedom to grieve in whatever way she needed – I’ll list those below, too.
Casey Leigh: http://www.thewiegands.com/2013/02/love-loss.html http://www.thewiegands.com/2011/09/addison-wiegand.html http://www.thewiegands.com/2014/06/a-life-well-loved-facing-loss.html http://www.thewiegands.com/2015/02/the-heart-behind-multiple-miscarriages.html http://www.thewiegands.com/2012/03/pregnancy-after-miscarriage.html http://www.thewiegands.com/2013/04/hope-lost-babies.html http://www.thewiegands.com/2013/07/lost-babies-sweet-redemption-and-hope.html http://www.thewiegands.com/2014/07/heartache-baby-loss.html